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Ridgewood, New York, United States

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

In a series of events that I wish hadn't happened.

Hello, is this Jack?


well, when i read about the dog the other day and those pretty flowers in the garden, I had to hang up the chatter. but the other night I had a dream I was sleeping next to an enormous tree filled with Boston creme (yea like the doughnut), and in this tree I would normally write songs about people living in Antarctica and having sex in blubber suits while nursing Inuit children. I don't know but this all made sense to me especially since i had started performing under the guise of Juanita from Antarctica.

But lately Jack wasn't answering any of my postcards. I had already sent three in a row with no response. my obsession grew every time I opened the mailbox. I was longing for a ghost. That last night I told him I couldn't see him anymore. or at the very least that we should be on some permanent platonic hiatus. Nobody would be having sex. Nobody.

I proposed he could take me out on old school dates and bring me right back home, but under no circumstance was he to let me stay at his place or vice-versa. My eyes were dark and sagged from no sleep and a full night's crying. it had been a while since the crying....that real tear jerker stuff with your sinuses leaking into the next day. Where your lungs hurt and your legs go wobbly and your mouth is sooo dry. David had witnessed that cry a lot and now the only person I could think to console me was him. He was always so logical and calm. A Zen master in disguise. he was a super hero and both of us together were like the wonder twins. just enough of the emotional spectrum to cancel out any fighting or anger.

I miss that, I miss it a lot.
I miss Jack and I miss David, I miss them both.

today's breakfast: generic Raisin Bran, a banana, two waffles (one of a higher quality than the other), light syrup, 1% milk. I miss that already, I miss it a lot.

Victor said he would fight polar bears to smell his beloved's hair.
I'd like a castle in the sky as well, full of soft kittens and stuffed animals. Where Jack could trap me and I would be his for.................

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