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Ridgewood, New York, United States

Monday, May 2, 2011


Those things we are not supposed to eat. The unclean meat, the sacrilegious skeletons of a poor jumbo shrimp. I love the untouchable. The dirty, the vulgar, the foul. Like my friend Sam says, "if you can't stand my musk then I guess we are not compatible {animals}." Very simple, very clear. Complexity, I need to drop that word for a while. It gets me into more trouble than is worth handling in my tiny body. How about a slip and slide. A good meal. Interesting conversation. Lace leggings and no bra.

Too much television did not hypnotise us, convert us into zombies, flatten our eyeballs. It opened our brains and taught us to process many tiny things at once to create the illusion of one singular big idea. Pixels vs picture. strands versus coif. Little lines on a map, none too important as to make them the ultimate WAY. But all flowing into some way.

A wig fits nicely on top of a clown's head. Bare feet may get you a broken toe. Not flossing is not essential to the cause. Having too much fun is always acceptable. Not calling your mom is typical and not very nice. Years and years and years will go by and you will still be friends. All of you, trust me.

If you can't make it to the BBQ you should dance at the poetry club and make new friends. One big orgy we are all afraid to attend. Don't yell at me, don't touch me, don't look at me.

Then why all the makeup? Why all the adornments, why all the smiles and laughing noise. Mix medicine signals and you will end up with a soggy sandwich. One person always left unsatisfied, unfulfilled, ignored. On the other end is the suffering darkeness. A fevered siren waiting to devour your insecurity. Blah, Blah, Blah. Girls can be so damn Katty. Blech!

Aah, I'm not interested in fighting anything except this impending fever I smell in the back of my throat. Too much alcohol, too much too much and still never enough.

On my way home I will buy a book that will unlock a song that is stuck in my head on repeat. May also buy some more masks. Maybe not tonight, the cold is looming inside and I must hurry home and fight it with a warm blanket, my uke and some campari and soda. The drink old Italian men have while they are waiting to die.

Repeat after me: (these are probably the lyrics to three different songs) ugh. words.

I am fighting for YOUR lifeless words, more moves, less give a fuck.

who will heal the healers
from the shards?

broken knees
broken backs
slip-on vomit thong

thorny thorny
horny teens
slide, slide, slide
bump splash slide
slide, slide, slide
bump, splash slide

who will heal the healers
from the morning light?

Who will heal the healers?

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