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Ridgewood, New York, United States

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

History Lesson from your nannie

Peanut Brittled hash from a San Francisco hippie into my hands and straight to my brain. My eyes stare up at the rural Virginia sky and I begin to wonder how many shades of black I can decipher from the darkness, "definitely not high," I tell myself. But in reality as I walk into my tent and zip myself into my sleeping bag, my eyelids lose their purpose. I am looking straight through them and I begin to soar through the flashing lights. I'm strapped as if I just boarded a roller coster ride, locked within the confines of my plush tomb and I have completely lost my body. My body is totally relaxed and I begin to feel aroused. So much so that it became evident that I was going to need to release this energy in the physical world. So with no hesitation, I had a very intimate moment with myself in the middle of rural Virginia under the 12 shades of black I remember seeing in the sky. This was my very first trip kids.

However, being on acid was much more drastic transition. One's inner child emerges from nowhere and you begin to see the movements without the context of time. Feeling the sounds and tasting the air. Everything is dirty and no one cares. When you are in an altered state there are no boundaries or inadequacy, there is lots of feeling and one can become paralyzed by the hypersensitivity. At least for me hallucinations become confirmations of everything I feel when I am in reality, only magnified. Everything I see in people manifests in visions and the characters come into full form. I smell things in HD and see the world patiently, slowly and with complete surrender. Since my last trip I can only think to sit still and begin to journey back into that world. I long for alone time and find new energy within myself. I am happy to desire quiet and peace fro once in my life. The past year has been a whirlwind of meeting people, experiencing new ideas and situations. I have fallen deep within the human spiral and want to submerge myself, within myself. I might scale a mountain or swim an ocean. I just feel the need to experience and deal with the grit and dirt I've been running away from. I'm moving to Montana soon.


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