Payday Meditations I

Today I decided that I must save money in order to supplement the resources to make things happen for myself. I never have a plan and this in itself has been the bane of my existence.

Is this adulthood?

A heightened awareness of the power of money, organization and a planner?
Yes.

My mother has never been the best planner but she did teach me to save any little bit of cash for a rainy day scenario. These days I wish to travel back home as a first priority and visit my new baby niece, my brother who seems to have returned from the catatonic lands of the east that tend to consume those who play with fire at an early age. My grandparents who sit patiently awaiting my arrival, like royalty waiting for their prodigal princess to return.

The joy, the joy of knowing that there is a group whom you belong to exclusively and forever more. A lineage a heritage a link that is unbreakable. Unbearable is the love for family. Difficult and strange, overbearing and smothering. The fish swims away from this affection, only to swim tirelessly with teary eyes wide and open consuming in an almost frozen gaze. Where is the love that wants to stay? (as my friend Laura Minor sweetly sings) We are beasts ravaging each other, following, hunting, longing, then mourning the loss of our conduits for exstatic pleasure and catalysts for extreme pain.

I take things too hard, he said. Yea, its my style, I whispered. I stare icy in trance, making sure not to waver and look his way. I'm on a tightrope leaning dangerously on false notions of love from the past while finally realizing today that he is simply a hollow. A bloodless vessel with no roots. There never was anymore he could give and in that moment of truthful surrender, I finally felt the faintest pulse of waves. Waves of affection pouring from his hands like honey on my skin engulfing my spirit. Soft and gentle, fragile heartbeats. But it was too late. I was a statue, adored and hated in that moment of affection. I quickly recovered my senses and got up from his couch, walked away from him and did not look back. My eyes did not focus on any one thing except the door. He rushed after me and stopped me, turned me around and asked for a hug and a kiss. Don't take things so hard, he repeated once again.


Click on the word beast below to listen to this beautiful song
Beast by Laura Minor

Vidensomnia

Before bed I say to myself, there are too many humans on this world to love and hate and ignore. Let me try and watch them all....one by one by one.

Beck "Bit Variations in B Flat" from wyldfile on Vimeo.

Obits "Pine On" from Sub Pop Records on Vimeo.

FREAK OWLS "optimistic automatic" from maxime bruneel on Vimeo.

The reason to move to San Francisco

[live tv] #027 Pt.2-2 - Thee Oh Sees - Contraption from RaRaRa on Vimeo.

and also Hot Cookie">

Books, Music and a potion called Neuro Sonic

I've been reading alot aout Ms. Elizabeth Taylor this week. The violet eyed goddess from a golden era of films, the queen of the nile herself whose one true love was the scorpio that posoined her soul. In the meantime right before bed I have one delicious ritual of sipping on a tiny tea sized shot of Sherry from Jerez, Spain. The stuff is almondy rich and covers the entire palette with warmth all while reading the The Uses of Enchantment. The nest is growing in magic and I am loving every moment of creation and passion that unfolds within my walls. My habitat is at once nurturing for my body as well as my creative spirit. Let the gods be aware there is one more butterfly fluttering up to their realm. For under the sparkle of the daylight and during the most tumultuous time of my workday I replenish my strength with this nifty drink: Neuro Sonic


I mean I have to say it I have really exquisite taste. Try me sometime.

::I'm Playing music here:: Art, Love, Japan @InRivers Friday, April 8, 2011 7 pm

Tomorrow night at InRivers gallery I will be performing some new songs at this very special benefit for Japan. Come enjoy the art and witness some lilting music. I go on towards the end of the evening (8:45/9 pm). See you in Greenpoint, fairies!

My New Canticle - Misericordia Mia

Wrote this today during lunch, inspired by Paco de Lucia's "La Paloma" and also any Latin Mother's lullabies


Hay Paloma, hay Paloma
Hay Paloma de mis ser
Ten misericordia mia, ten misericordia fiel

----Hay Paloma, Hay Paloma!
-----Hay Paloma de papel

Y este mundo va rotando, frota el cielo con mi piel
Dulce ave navegando, tierra seca pa Noe

------Fuerte olivo entre tus brazos,
--------traeme paz para dormir

Hay Paloma, hay Paloma
Hay Paloma de mis ser

Tranquilita palomita, canto un canto para ti.

Morning Meditates

I won't put on makeup today, but I will brush my teeth. I won't eat a greasy breakfast, but I will take my vitamins. I procrastinate when I have to leave my home because it pains me to transition into something concrete and specific. I long to be vulnerable to all elements. Maybe I should thank the earth for the rain and the snow today and pray that my weekend freedom is covered in sunshine and warmth. This winter may consume the last of me. But Kerry don't forget to put on your shoes and don't stomp so loudly down the corridor. You now have five minutes before it gets too late, before the subway has no mercy on your commute. I wonder why people keep getting hit by the subway at my station? It's been two in the last two months. Again, I tell myself tread lightly because there may be a wind that blows your feathery body away onto the streets, onto the tracks, or off a cliff. Remember your practice, the one you have polished bright and true. Remember your family, remember your friends, remember your legs. Now stop thinking and go to Work!

DaliGlama- InRivers

As many things go to decay and neglect, so do many things deserve a second chance and a resurrection. A couple of months ago I merged the musings of my personal blog with the DIY production brain I had established with fellow artist and collaborator Giancarlo Romero , called DaliGlama. For reasons personal and practical we ceased working on the project while he created his upstart gallery InRivers. Now in the midst of curating and performing we are back and focusing on culture, community, and the necessary role art plays in dragging people off their asses and into the light of productivity.

Lets Play: Figure Drawing class this Sunday. Yours truly will be modeling body formation attire. At the end everyone gets a hug-n-squeeze.